Madeline Swainhart

Focusing on representations of masculinity within the home and within domestic/ nurturing family portraits. With the use of a more environmental portrait technique. Bringing the viewer into the space of The Home. Reimagining families and who they are made up of. Self-portraiture allows me to explore my own gender identity. Helping me to imagine my future as a non-binary parent.

If a home is where we become. What happens when we don’t fit? I am collecting, digging through the archive of my upbringing. An archive that holds memories I no longer know except in the way I move, in the way I am. With a family that represents something I could never become, I search for an image of what family can look like outside of the binary. With thorough research into the objects, photographs, writings, fabrics, and artworks that are left from my childhood I am drawing parallels between what is found and what is remembered in order to better understand my own relationship to gender and sexuality. I begin to understand what didn't fit right. By knowing what I was shown I can make sense of my inner child. A baby raised a girl, and never grew up to become a woman.

Exploring queered kinships and digging deep into my own family archive has fostered this baby -- My BA thesis.

A series of bookmarks which tell collected stories on queer childhoods and include images from many family archives. There are 15 bookmarks and they were Riso- printed in an edition of 500 — The rest of the documentation can be seen on my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CWVFo8to1f-/

A series of bookmarks which tell collected stories on queer childhoods and include images from many family archives. There are 15 bookmarks and they were Riso- printed in an edition of 500 — The rest of the documentation can be seen on my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CWVFo8to1f-/

Exploring queered kinships and digging deep into my own family archive has fostered this baby -- My BA thesis.

Letters From the Archive Framed cropped archival images + Personal text Custom made passepartouts "Mrs. Julie sat us down in dance class and told us we need to trim our pubes. A few years later she gave me a bible when I graduated high school."

"I always imagined I would have a wedding. Once I had come to terms with being queer I imagined that my wedding would look something like Me in a white dress, and my partner (a woman) in a suit. I thought I needed to play the female role. That my queer relationship needed to replicate a hetero one. Now I could imagine myself in a dress or a suit. Or not having a wedding at all."

"My mom taught Ellie and me to weigh ourselves at the grocery store each week. My mom has always told me I should show off my waist which makes it really hard to figure out what is my eating disorder and what is dysphoria."

"I spoke to mom the other day. She asked me to choose between two curtain colors for the condo. I told her I don’t have a preference. She said that made sense because in her words I am just not domestic like her."

"I will never forget my mom saying she has never seen a kid as happy as I was when Ellie first came home from the hospital. Can't stop thinking about my mom saying I am not domestic."

an exploration on parenthood outside of the binary.

Letters From the Archive Framed cropped archival images + Personal text Custom made passepartouts "In fourth grade, we were meant to be sitting in a circle, criss-cross applesauce; I sat on my knees so no one could see my leg hair."

an exploration on family outside of the binary.

Comfort comes in many forms. It is both simple and complex. Who gives and who takes? By breaking down the boundaries of where we get comfort and with whom we feel safe; I search for what closeness looks like. I wonder why it is so hard to be vulnerable enough to be cared for. This work is a choreography of intimacy based on dependency and trust. Would you let me hold you?

Comfort comes in many forms. It is both simple and complex. Who gives and who takes? By breaking down the boundaries of where we get comfort and with whom we feel safe; I search for what closeness looks like. I wonder why it is so hard to be vulnerable enough to be cared for. This work is a choreography of intimacy based on dependency and trust. Would you let me hold you?

Comfort comes in many forms. It is both simple and complex. Who gives and who takes? By breaking down the boundaries of where we get comfort and with whom we feel safe; I search for what closeness looks like. I wonder why it is so hard to be vulnerable enough to be cared for. This work is a choreography of intimacy based on dependency and trust. Would you let me hold you?

Comfort comes in many forms. It is both simple and complex. Who gives and who takes? By breaking down the boundaries of where we get comfort and with whom we feel safe; I search for what closeness looks like. I wonder why it is so hard to be vulnerable enough to be cared for. This work is a choreography of intimacy based on dependency and trust. Would you let me hold you?